Marriage is first and foremost a spiritual union between two souls on a journey toward Allah. That union takes shape amid the realities of earthly life: the hopes, histories, habits, and responsibilities two people bring as they build a life and perhaps raise a family together. Human nature tests that bond, while the intimacy of marriage offers spouses opportunities to refine their character, cultivate love with intention, and grow closer to Allah and one another.
That is what draws me to Reboot. Reconnect. Refocus., a nonprofit organization founded by April and Ma’Haji Abdul-Baaqee to strengthen marriages and families through retreats and opportunities for connection and growth. Their message speaks to married couples and to those preparing for marriage alike: a good marriage does not simply happen. It is cultivated through regular, intentional care. Affection, appreciation, honest communication, and emotional awareness all shape the relationship couples build together.
When I spoke with Sister April by phone in 2025, she shared that this understanding grew from her own marriage. Raising their children had become the center of family life. Around their nineteenth year of marriage, she realized she wanted to make sure she and Brother Ma’Haji kept nurturing their relationship as a couple. She didn’t want to wait until their children left home to discover they needed to learn each other all over again. At the time of our conversation, they had been married for 28 years.
Her heartfelt desire to reconnect in her own marriage inspired her to invite other couples to do the same.
Growing together as souls
When I asked whether the retreat idea had emerged from thoughts of divorce, April explained that it had not. They were deeply committed to their marriage and sincerely wanted to understand each other as they changed over the years.
Couples can be happy in a marriage and still need to give it thoughtful attention. Commitment includes staying curious about the person with whom one shares a life.
Allah created us with the capacity to grow. As souls, we are constantly learning, unfolding, and becoming, and our experiences invite us toward deeper awareness and self-actualization. I understand this as part of our sacred ascension: recognizing Allah through the story of our lives and responding more consciously to His guidance.
The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, described marriage as completing half of one’s religion and urged us to be mindful of Allah regarding the remaining half. Marriage, then, is one of the primary relationships through which spouses can grow closer to Allah and to one another.
That growth calls for attention to how each person is changing. Couples might ask themselves: What has life taught us? What are we carrying now? What brings us joy? Where do we need encouragement, and where can we encourage each other? How can we nurture each other’s growth? Questions like these invite each spouse to take responsibility for their own development while caring for their partner’s.
April acknowledged that happiness in marriage does not mean an absence of challenges. Within those challenges, couples can practice patience, humility, honesty, and mercy. These qualities strengthen a marriage and deepen faith.
Cultivating love through daily awareness
Reboot. Reconnect. Refocus. carries its message into everyday life through its social media posts. It encourages couples to express appreciation, listen attentively, apologize, have difficult conversations, make time for affection, and pray together when they need guidance.
Their emphasis on affection and emotional regulation deserves particular attention. A hug, holding hands, or sitting close can express a willingness to remain connected. Emotional awareness asks each spouse to consider what they bring into an interaction and how they respond when feelings become difficult.
Each spouse might ask: When I am frustrated, do I recognize it before speaking? When I feel hurt, can I say so without seeking to wound in return? Can I listen with enough humility to consider my spouse’s experience alongside my own?
These questions belong within spiritual pursuit. Marriage brings two people close enough that their habits, defenses, and shortcomings become difficult to overlook. That closeness can invite muḥāsabah (self-examination) and a more sincere effort to live as the believer you aspire to be.
Love grows from that awareness: a sincere apology, a gentle response, an expression of gratitude, or returning to a difficult conversation with greater care.
Choosing with intention
For those hoping to marry, these practices begin long before the wedding, with how two people approach each other from the start. April’s story of how she and Brother Ma’Haji met offers a beautiful example.
He first noticed her at a grocery store but did not approach her. About a week later, he saw her at work. They both worked at FedEx, and this second encounter gave him the opportunity to introduce himself. He made his intentions clear: he was Muslim and seeking a potential wife. He shared information about himself and asked what she was looking for, too.
April appreciated his openness. She emphasized the importance of being clear from the start about what you are seeking. That clarity lets each person decide whether their values, intentions, and aspirations can support a shared life.
They also have something wonderfully endearing about them as a couple. April is taller than her husband. When I asked whether that had ever given her pause, she said it had not. She even shared that Brother Ma’Haji likes her to wear heels.
Her answer affirms an important value. Many of us carry an image of the person we think we want to marry. Perhaps it’s the familiar wish for someone “tall, dark, and handsome.” Physical attraction has its place. But a man who loves and fears Allah, is kind, provides responsibly, brings joy to your life, and embodies the inner qualities you value may be right for you, even if he is shorter than you imagined.
Far more valuable than matching an imagined ideal is finding someone who inspires you to become a better believer, a better person, and a better spouse. With such a partner, you can build a life where you encourage one another toward what pleases Allah.
Although I have never met them in person, their photographs convey warmth and playfulness. Their work reflects a conviction that marriage deserves continued care, and through Reboot. Reconnect. Refocus., that conviction has become a shared mission.
Creating space for renewal
“The foundation is our Islam,” April explained. She also emphasized that people of other faiths are welcome. Prayer remains part of the retreat program, and participants may choose whether to join. She recalled that Christian friends who valued their work once invited them to hold a retreat at their church.
The retreats are for married couples at every stage, from newlyweds to those with decades of marriage behind them. April described an intentionally small setting where couples can connect and share tools for longevity. She and Brother Ma’Haji offer insights from their own experience rather than formal marriage counseling.
Testimonials on the organization’s website give a glimpse of what that dedicated time can mean. Another couple, Bilal and April Muhammad, described the retreat as a chance to set aside other demands and focus on each other, and they left with greater compassion and renewed enthusiasm for their marriage. Clifton and Trina, married two years when they attended, valued learning alongside couples with 20, 30, and even 40 years of marriage. They described a welcoming community where participants “laughed, learned, fellowshipped and cried together.”
Their experiences speak to the value of nurturing a marriage within community, among others walking the same path.
The seventh annual International Muslim Marriage Retreat is scheduled for November 6–8, 2026, in Memphis, Tennessee, with the theme “Cultivating with Intent.”
A shared community priority
In MANA’s recently completed 2026 community survey, healthy marriage emerged as the number one priority among respondents, up from third place in our 2023 survey. That finding calls us to support the people and organizations already helping couples strengthen their relationships.
At MANA, we look forward to working with Reboot. Reconnect. Refocus. and other organizations to promote healthy marriages. By connecting and amplifying these efforts, we can help more couples find encouragement, learning, and renewal.
Whether you are already married or preparing for marriage, choosing each other every day means remembering that husband and wife are two souls entrusted with nurturing a shared relationship. Through attention, affection, accountability, and prayer, they can cultivate a marriage that supports their individual and shared growth and helps them draw nearer to Allah, inshaAllah.
For retreat information, visit https://reboot-reconnect-refocus.org/ or call 901-878-5677.
Akanke is a communications specialist and consultant with a degree in Communication from Georgia State University, focused on film, TV, and cultural anthropology. Her career is diverse, and her interests span various creative forms of expression — from producing TV and radio shows to creating documentaries, writing, graphic design, and life coaching, she strives to make a lasting and authentic impact wherever she goes. She reverted to Islam in 1994 and is passionate about Islam and Islamic spirituality, a passion that runs through nearly every corner of her work. Akanke has been a dedicated supporter of the Muslim Alliance in North America (MANA) since 2007, currently serving as the organization’s Board Vice President — working alongside the Board President and Secretary to help shape MANA’s trajectory — and previously served for several years as its Communications Director. A native of Atlanta, she now resides in Dayton, Ohio.
